I've had a rough month. I'm feeling things I haven't in a very long time. Anger, jealousy, fear, you get the idea. I haven't made many meetings, and when I do Im not really listing. Just forcing my way through it. Tonight was no different. I show up 5 min late. I make a cup of coffee and sit in the corner with the intent to not be bothered. I just happen to sit next to a guy on day 1. My attitude shifts from "poor me" to "how can I help this guy"! I do the usual. I get him a list of phone numbers. Introduce him to a few guys. Explain how the program works. By the end of the night he asked ME to sponsor him. He I am. A guy doubting his sobriety. cant even take care of himself. Looking for sympathy now sponsoring someone. That's gods work. what happened tonight saved my life!! The promises come true. Never overlook a chance to help another person. Even if you only have one day. That could very well be one more than the person next to you!
I read your posting which you did the other day.....congrats on 6th months sobriety! You are dealing with emotions which are normal for everyone--not just alcoholics. And you used the key word--"feeling". When I drank, I didn't want to feel my feelings. That's why I drank. Then when I stopped drinking, I was flooded with them and they were almost foreign to me. I had to learn to accept them and deal with them.
I think it is great that you are trying to help others--that's what has helped so many AA'ers stay sober. It is concerning how you can be an effective sponsor with 6 months of sobriety and working your fourth Step. I wouldn't have thought about taking on such a huge decision when I was 6 months sober and certainly not before I had worked the Steps with my sponsor. I didn't have what others had that I wanted--no spiritual awakening, no real idea of what the steps were even all about until I had worked them. It would have been detrimental to my own sobriety as well as the other newcomer's, had I taken on the role of sponsor.
God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.
BB pg 164
You have to get your own house in order first. But you did help him. Just being there sober and talking to him...Could have been all the motivation this guy needed. Well done.
Your right. I've decided to temp sponsor him till he gets some time in the rooms. I'll get him started but I can't take on any sponsees now. Thanks for the advice
And I do think it is awesome how you reached out to help another alcoholic especially when you weren't feeling all that great yourself. Your willingness to help others is amazing. I have seen so many people come to one meeting, pick up a white chip, and I don't see them again. (Hopefully, they are attending other meetings). Your conversation with him may have been all he needed to motivate him to keep coming back. And you mentioned how your thinking went from "poor me" to "how can I help this guy?" You will do great if you keep that in mind throughout your sobriety. One thing that helped me tremendously is instead of arriving late to meetings (which I did for months and months earlier in my sobriety) is arriving earlier and making coffee and/or staying a little longer and helping clean up after the meeting. I got to know more people and felt more comfortable and you will be helping others that way, too. Also you could pass around a When and Where book for other men to write their names and numbers and give to the person who is new in a meeting. There are so very many ways to help other suffering alcoholics in AA and when we do so it is helping us stay sober as well. You are helping others just by attending meetings and people with one day, one week, one month, etc., are looking at you and wondering "how did that guy get up to six months?" and I think it is wonderful how you are eager to let those others know how you did it.
One thing that we've all learned from our experiences is that, when we're feeling down, reaching out to help another suffering alcoholic will change our outlook and help us emotionally. You cannot bless another without being blessed yourself.
CapitalK, your post really made me smile. I too have had that experience where I go in feeling shitty and then my attention shifts to helping someone. Way to go!
God has not blessed me at all, i dont even think he is reall anymore, i swear it. he has let me do some bad thing, but im not a bad man, its the driking, but why dos he let the drinkin do on if he looking out for me?
God doesn't do mind control. We can do all sorts of destructive and self-destructive things if we choose to. It's up to us. We have free will.
And for an alcoholic, that's the problem - our free will is messed up by alcoholism. We need to find something other than our own messed up alcoholic self-will to run our lives and guide our actions. Or that alcoholic self-will is going to kill us.
At first, that can just be the guidance from other people in AA who have successfully found a way to stay clean and sober and live comfortably without needing or wanting a drink or a drug. We listen to their experience and we follow their examples and we do what they did.
We don't necessarily need to hear some 'voice from God' to get us sober. But we sure as hell need to stop listening to the 'voice of alcoholism' that has been shouting all of those messed up instructions to us, and find SOMETHING better to guide us. And the people in AA who know how to stay sober would be a good place to start.
