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Just wanted to check in...
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Today marks 41 days sober. :)

I've noticed the last couple of days I've been having thoughts about drinking. It's like I get a bit of happiness in my life..... and then its as if I have a self-destruct switch that I want to flip.But I'm talking about it and being honest. I went to a women's step study last night, and we were talking about step 3. It was perfect timing because that's what step I'm currently on.

My anxiety level has been more manageable, but my grief (for my ex) still comes in waves. Today is one of those "sad" waves. I'm so sick of hearing myself talk about it though. I can't imagine how you guys feel. no



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It is a normal process when we are early in recovery to have days when we think about drinking. If this program were that easy, all of us would have it made. You are doing great. When I had days where I thought about drinking, I'd work in another meeting, call another alcoholic or do something else which kept my mind busy. Praying to my HP helps as well. Do you have a sponsor yet? Call her if so. I'd strongly advise getting a sponsor if you don't have one. Once I did and worked the steps I didn't upchuck on my own thoughts as much.

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41 Days, thats great!  I completely relate to how you are feeling, I experience the same thing right around that time.  Things started to get better in my life, I was feeling pretty good, and felt much healthier.  Then those destructive thoughts of drinking would come into my mind and would drive me crazy.  With things going as well as they were, why would I want to drink.  Oh ya, I am an alcoholic.  Those thoughts got the best of me the first two tries at this, and I was back out there right were I started, beaten down and miserable.  Alcohol had once again took me down.  But I said it would be different this time, I knew what my problems were.  It was different, it was worse than before. 

I just hit 8 months and I do not think of drinking nearly as much.  So all I can say is that it does get better, unfortunately not on my timeline.  I have to be patient and work the program.  I still go to meetings daily and I have acquired a great network of alcoholics who expect to see me each day.  I have no desire to give drinking one more shot, its not worth it, and there is no problem that alcohol won't make worse. 

Hang in there and remember this is just a One Day at a Time thing we have to do.  Make a decision each day that were not going to drink TODAY and worry about tomorrow when it comes.



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By changing nothing, nothing changes.

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MIP Old Timer

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Congrats on 41 days Namaste!....Those are painful feelings you are going through...Never feel bad about sharing them....We just can't drink over them...That's all.

Step three huh?....Very important step. I looked at that step as a simple yes or no decision....Am I going to work the rest of these steps or not?

Good to see you too...D willing....I'm curious what step you are working on?

I don't look at AA as just not trying to drink for a day at a time....Maybe my first month or two....That's a fight I'd never win.....I was looking for this...This happens after or during step 9....

We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us.

BB pg 85

Keep moving forward people....You can have that too.



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SC, I am working step 4.  I was not trying to come off as if I think each day is just about not drinking, of course its much more, but early on, that was the biggest thing for me, don't drink, then eventually things got easier.  Working the steps I know is where I will find serenity, though I would be a little concerned if I ever thought my problem didn't exist.  I'm pretty sure it will always be with me, just in remission, if I stop working the program, some day it'll more than likely come back when I least expect it.  It doesn't matter how much time one has sober, i hear of people going back out all the time with a bunch of years, vigilance I think is important.



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By changing nothing, nothing changes.

Simply How I Think is the problem..(S.H.I.T)

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MIP Old Timer

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That's very true d willing....We do have to keep ourselves in fit spiritual condition...We do that by living in steps 10, 11 and 12.....Staying connected and helping suffering alcoholics. That does take vigilance.

I just hear in meetings a lot how this is a program of not drinking one day at a time....And that's not true. I recommend it to start....Anything to not drink at the start. I think for me....Conceding to my innermost self that I was alcoholic....And knowing...For me to drink is to die....Coupled with a few meetings a day....Did the trick in the beginning.

I just prefer....

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol.

BB pg 84

It just has a better ring to it...Don't you think?

That's awesome you are working your 4th step.....Keep plugging along on it. Good things to come with that 5th step.



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MIP Old Timer

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d_willing wrote:

I'm pretty sure it will always be with me, just in remission, if I stop working the program, some day it'll more than likely come back when I least expect it. 


 And you can count on that.



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The Alcoholic monkey on my shoulder just sits there and waits. I have to keep feeding him AA bananas.



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MIP Old Timer

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LMAO Kevin, ... ... ... I'm go'n to have to steal that one!!! ... ... ..

and congrats on 41, 42 days now, I hope Nam78 ... ... ... like the Henry Ford quote, 'whether you can or you can't, ... you're right' ... ... ... it depends on how we retrain ourselves to 'think' ... ... ...



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